wat bout pragnant strippers??
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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