omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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