Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I didn't notice because vodka
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
