How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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