did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
youre lurking in front of me
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
