Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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