How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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