ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
