Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
