I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
