I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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