This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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