Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
