I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You need a sexual gate keeper
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
