THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
