Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
wow bdsm is so cute
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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