I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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