My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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