69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
