Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
