Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
