the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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