he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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