Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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