Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
