I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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