i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
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