His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
he fucked my hip out of place.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
