So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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