She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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