WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
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