Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
