they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
