OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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