Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize