I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
then he tried to convert me to islam
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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