So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
