This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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