Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
