Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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