Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
