dude i'm inner monologue high
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
