Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
