talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
