garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize