We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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