Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
