what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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