Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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