Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
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