omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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