remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
