glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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