The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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