Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
