anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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