Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
