The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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