I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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