Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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