its not stalking. its research.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
