she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
