Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just forgot I was standing up.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
