Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
