there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
