someone get that fucking seahorse.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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